Development of Child Psychology In Social Life

Development phase difference in the world of social status of children in friendship and get friends to play in the school environment and outside the school environment, in contrast to the sense of friendship that occurs in adults, for adults friendship is a bonding relationship with others, in which trust , understanding, sacrifice and help each other will be woven into a long period, while the world's children are not, as seen in adults, in the world of children's friendship is established not for a long time, sometimes when there are problems which small, braided friendship will be disconnected.
There are two ways to know the meaning of friendship and friends play in the world of children:

• By the way we ask a few questions, like;
  Who was near you?
  Why would he?
  What do you like from him?
• By the way we talk about friendship, then the two friends are fighting because they can not solve the problem properly.
  From both these ways, how the number two we'll probably get the information, then we ask questions to the child; Must be how the situation resolved?

From the information given many such children, we will get us to the conclusion that in some phases, such as;

First Phase;
- Friend to play
Playmate for children aged between 5 to 7 years.
For them, a friend is someone who has an interesting toy that his residence close around them, and they have the same interest.
Personality of the friend is not a problem, the most important thing for them is the activity and what toys they have, their friendship will be interrupted if one of these kids do not want to play again with another child because of burnout and boredom, their friendship will be broken and as soon as possible terbina back away.
Examples of conversations that we often encounter in children aged 5 to 7 years, among others, about sharing food, for example;
"If you give me chocolate, you're my friend again"
In this age they are so easily said about the friends, the conversation usually begins with the words "Who's your name? and my name is ......" and they can not just be friends after knowing each other their names.

Second Phase
- Friends for joint
Friend to play and build trust, for children aged between 8 to 10 years.
In their age, the definition of friend a little larger than the first phase, because the meaning of their friends have stepped into a feeling of mutual trust, mutual need and mutual visits.
In this phase a child is not easy to make friends of children in the first phase, because they have no willingness to make friends from both sides.

They will not want to be friends again after a problem arises between them, such as;
- One of them is in violation of a promise;
- One of them is affected by slanting news;
- One of them did not want to help, when his friend needed help.
The conversation that we often encounter in this second phase, for example;
"Why did you choose him as your friend?"
In this phase, a child is not easy to make friends, friendship usually occurs after a while they just know each other better they would weave, sometimes friendship they get to adulthood, sometimes also cut off depending on the factor of what happens during their friendship.

Third Phase
- Friendship is full of mutual understanding
Occurred in children aged 11 to 15 years, for them the meaning of friends not just to play it, here a friend must also could serve as a place to share thoughts, feelings and understanding.
In this phase of friendship into a very personal stage, because in general they are experiencing puberty with psychological problems such as depression, fear, problems at home, or financial problems that happen to them, they usually know better psychological problems were compared with those their own parents.
Friendship in this phase can change with the passage of their age, than just a friend play, then developed into friends and friends share the belief shared emotions. Friendship is usually disconnected because one of them move house or go to school in another city. The conversation between them that we often hear in this phase, for example;
"We need a good friend, because we can share stories where other people do not need to know, good friend will give advice or the best way out"

The Importance of Friendship For Kids Social Development

- Popular or Not Popular, and What a result
In the elementary school environment, there is usually a child of the popular and unpopular, whether the child is more prominent because of his cleverness or even because of other things.
They will get more attention, as always invited and present at his birthday party while unpopular never invited.
To learn more about social relationships popular and unpopular children in the classroom, a teacher or we can ask some questions to them, such as;
- With whom do you want to go sightseeing?
- With whom you want to sit?
Apparently anak more popular is called and the child is not popular or not at all rarely mentioned.
To find out more popular and unpopular children, those questions can be developed again with negative questions and questions positive.
With these questions, we can more quickly find out where the child where the popular and unpopular children, and also we can more quickly find and help solve the problem child at that stage is still not too far away.

That way, in the end we can distinguish a child's development in sequence, such as;
1. Children bearing the star sosiometris
Sosiometris star, meaning they are most widely known as the positive side than on the downside, they usually liked and recognized by his friends some of them bearing the star of this sosiometris feel alienated.
2. Children who are regular
Usually they are not so popular compared to sosiometris stars, but they are more referred to the positive side and a little known downside.
3. Children who are isolated
Usually they are not referred to the positive side and also not mentioned the negative side, it looks like anak isolated was not seen by his friends.
4. Children who are excluded
Usually they are by other children who were exiled and are not recognized as a friend, they are usually little known and more positive side is called the negative side.
From the sequences above, we as parents should be responsive and do not hesitate to ask the teacher at school, how the psychological development of children in the school environment, it is done to compare the psychological development of children in the home environment and in the school environment, so we can quickly browse and find out if your child has a problem in itself that dare not disclosed to us as parents and we can quickly deal with and help solve the problem of the child, before the problem child is already changing the nature and the character of the child.

Important factors that affect the child's social status
1. How to educate parents and foster children
Parents who educate children with a gradual way in explaining things, and educate children with a loving, usually their children have high self confidence and they will be easy in developing social relationships.
Another case with children who do not get the love in full and they were educated by their parents by way of rough and get the events that make the child is traumatized, then we can clearly see a dramatic difference, usually the child is difficult to control and have a problem, they will not be easy and difficult social relationships foster friendships with other children.

2. Birth order
Birth order, affects also the social status of children, because most young children are usually more popular and familiar with the negotiations than his brothers.

3. Ability and skill to take the role
Usually the popular kids have the competence and skill in taking whatever position the role and position could develop into that role better.
Popular children usually have intellegensi / intelligence is good.
By having these characteristics, the popular kids more easily place themselves or adapt to foreign environments.
4. Name
Apparently the environment of children, the name can take effect.
The name that can be associated with something, can bring a negative impact on social development and child psychology. because children are very concrete in stating something that, as a result the child feels inferior and cornered when the other children mocked because her name can be associated with something.
5. The appeal
Children who have a special attraction, usually always less popular than the children who have an attraction.
Children 3 years old, was able to tell which children are interesting and where children are less attractive, the reaction of interest in almost the same as adults.
In children aged 3 years, children are attractive and unattractive children are not so visible light, but in children aged 5 years, it can be seen very clearly, children age 5 who are not attractive is usually more aggressive and often dishonest in play, while in children age 5 who have an attraction, usually they are often given positive insert-enter from the surrounding so that the growing self-confidence is higher, sabaliknya in children aged 5 years who did not withdraw his confidence is affected less because of negative enter-enter from the environment.

6. Behavior
Not all children who draw become popular because there are many other factors that could affect popular categories.
Behaviors that make children popular, among others; warm-hearted, have a sense of sympathy, not aggressive, can work together, helpful, like giving enter or positive comments, and others.
In general, the above factors present in children who are popular, and these factors can determine the social status of children, but not always the popular kids in the future to determine the social status, most children grow out of educational environment that is always awake , intellegensinya, skilled and unskilled, have a good and attractive but not popular, there are also some children who grow from a troubled environment, less attention from parents, has a name that is not good, and has no charm, but could also become popular.
And what about children who are less valued, such as: The kids are isolated and alienated children.
Group of children have low values of the children his age, but children who are isolated more easily recognized than the excluded children, but over time the children who are excluded will be recognized as well.
Children who are excluded have a greater risk of adaptation in age toward adulthood, they become alienated because there is one factor for deviations from the social status of children.
If a child is weak in the face of the words that are not pleasant or temptation from the other children, then it can shape the behavior and learning process will be disrupted.

Some problems in children excluded, among others;
- They openly shunned
- Often involved in matters that negative interaction events
- Have behavior problems
- Often show aggressive behavior
- Has a stable negative status
- Often in trouble at school

In general, children who are alienated, react in two ways:
1. Withdraw
Usually they withdrew from contact with others, they actually wanted to play with other children, but they neglected and ignored their existence, instead they menjelek-jelekannya such as "professor" because the child is wearing glasses, and therefore they always menhindar from other children, at home they are usually too quiet and as long as possible to stay in his room by reading comics or listen to music, to his parents, they contend do not like to play outside.
2. Anti-social behavior
Usually they are difficult to adjust, but other kids do not like the behavior, for example;
At the other kids play ball, then came the alienated child, but not to play with other children, these children come just to disrupt it by taking the ball, and when the ball was child's play that will appear with rough so that makes the other children stopped playing, the estranged son would get angry until finally the other children had to give in and play the ball back with the rules that required by children who had been alienated.

For children who are isolated in countries that have developed, such as in the Netherlands, the parents of these children will have a report from the teacher or teachers, then they are given counseling and consultation from the Child Psychologist who is under the Department of Children's Affairs Troubled child, then will be sent to the Department of Health for mental disorders that are not stable for the given direction and social skills in how to adapt or how to adapt in an environment at home and school environment.
For older adults, they are taught a kind of therapy to adapt in the community environment so that eventually they could become independent.